Friday, April 2, 2010

Thrill

"God....God, please...please give me a glimpse of You. I need to see a glimpse of You-- I feel so far away."

This was my prayer last night as we were driving home from Bible class, listening to our new Getty CD with the windows down. In the West, the sun had already dipped below the horizon, and shades of pink peeked over the trees, rising into purple, and finally blending into a dark, nighttime blue. Around me I saw God's glory, in the music I heard His truth, and yet my heart was lonely. It had been several weeks, and though spring had come to the earth, I was still struggling through a very discouraging winter in my soul. Here and there I was noticing new things in God's Word, and I was reading His Word and praying and singing to Him, but for a couple weeks my heart had been feeling so empty, like I couldn't connect to God. I longed for that feeling of thrill, not in any circumstance, but just that thrill of knowing Him, really knowing Him. That thrill of realizing as I never had before some aspect of His character, and knowing His presence with me. To go without that even for a couple days, much more two weeks, is to be very, very discouraged.

We got home; I did my normal evening routine of getting dressed for bed, checking blogs and Facebook, and even chatted with a friend on Windows Live. After that, I turned off my overhead light, turned on my small "nighttime" lights, scooted my feet under my covers, and pulled out my Bible. My heart was still empty. "Lord, I want so much to be close to You," I prayed. "But I feel so far away, in a way You can't even im--" I was about to say "imagine", but I stopped myself. That was no way to talk to God; besides, the verse about Jesus being the merciful and faithful high priest who is able to identify with our sufferings and temptations echoed in the back of my head and silenced me in mid-sentence. In that moment, God answered my prayer.

For suddenly, my mind went back to that dark day, and saw Jesus hanging between earth and heaven, that moment the Father turned His face away... and Jesus cried in agony, "My God, my God,why hast Thou forsaken me?" In that one moment, Jesus called His Father "my God", instead of "my Father", for in that moment He bore the sins of all the world, and the Father could not look upon His Son.

It was just for a minute, and yet in that minute Jesus tasted what it was like to feel so far away from God the Father, and yet it was so much worse, because for all eternity, the Father had never turned His face away from His Son.

Tears welled in my eyes, and that thrill I had longed for filled my soul. Instantly, the feeling of loneliness and distance from God was dismissed and replaced with a very real sense of God's presence. For I realized that Jesus did know how I was feeling, and more, in such a way that I couldn't even imagine. In that one moment, Jesus tasted the bitterest extent of separation from the Father, so that I might enjoy close communion with my King for all eternity.

Words cannot express that joy that filled my heart as I realized anew the amazing love and grace my God showed to me. Yes, sometimes darkness obscures my view, and I cannot see God, but it is promised: through Jesus I have been brought indeed unto the Father's side, never to be separated from Him again. This the power of the Cross!! Hallelujah! What a Savior!



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This song on our new CD really spoke to my heart as well, last evening. I am grateful that God works in others' lives to write and sing words that are such a blessing to us. May they be a blessing to you as well.

Every Promise

"Every Promise of Your Word"
Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
Copyright © 2005 Thankyou Music

From the breaking of the dawn to the setting of the sun,
I will stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
Words of power, strong to save, that will never pass away,
I will stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
For Your covenant is sure,
And on this I am secure—
I can stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.

When I stumble and I sin, condemnation pressing in,
I will stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
You are faithful to forgive that in freedom I might live,
So I stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
Guilt to innocence restored,
You remember sins no more—
So I'll stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.

When I'm faced with anguished choice, I will listen for Your voice,
And I'll stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
Through this dark and troubled land
You will guide me with Your hand
As I stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
And You've promised to complete
Ev'ry work begun in me—
So I'll stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.

Hope that lifts me from despair, love that casts out ev'ry fear,
As I stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
Not forsaken, not alone, for the Comforter has come,
And I stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
Grace sufficient, grace for me,
Grace for all who will believe—
We will stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.


May this "Good Friday" be one in which you see the grace of God in a fresh and new way that leaves you so in awe of and in love with Him!

4 comments:

Ana said...

Praise the Lord. The joy of knowing His presence IS indescribable!! I'm so happy for you.

Rosebud said...

Amen!

Teddy said...

Mells, I had forgotten that this was in my inbox and had not read it. I just found it and wanted to say that you've blessed me this morning w/ words and thoughts I needed VERY BADLY. God is good to have me find this today.

Melanie said...

I'm so glad, Teddy!!